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Motherhood/Embarrassed

Those who knew me as a teenager are stunned when I tell them that I have 5 children.  As a teenager and young adult I lothed the idea of being a stay at home mom.  IF I had any children it would be one or possibly two and I would not stay at home with them.  The truth is that in my heart I knew that I would have more children and the thought of being a stay at home mom and "not doing anything with my life" scared me.  I saw no worth in motherhood.

This morning I was reading someone's blog and they talked about how much they enjoy motherhood.




After I read this I asked my Heavenly Father if I could feel this way.  I immediately felt that right now I can only see motherhood through the filter of depression.  But that someday I will feel that way.  Someday the negitivity in my head will be gone and I will see life through the eyes of my Father in Heaven and my Savior and I will understand and feel the blessing of being a mother. 
Mom and Michael at a family reunion in Fayettville.  Michael threw up two times on the drive down, ruining his clothes.  But as soon as he arrived he was a naked happy camper and the life of the party.

How grateful I am to a Father in Heaven who loves me and is helping me discover myself, helping me change, and continually counseling, and encouraging me.  I am so blessed.
Book of Mormon, Alma 26:23
"23  Now do ye remember, my brethren, that we said unto our brethren in the land of Zarahemla, we go up to the land of Nephi, to preach unto our brethren, the Lamanites, and they laughed us to scorn?"
John Derek is having a hard time at school. He is very embarrassed by his inability to read well. We do special homework every night, different from what his class does. I then send a note to the teacher letting him know what we did that evening. Well John Derek is so ashamed that he hides the note under a piece of paper so no one will see that his homework is different. He also gets pulled out for reading several days a week. He is embarrassed every time he enters or leaves the class room. He feels that everyone is staring at him. Oh how my heart aches for my little boy. Oh how I wish I could take the burden away. But I know that reading is such an important skill and that he will learn it. He is a bright kid and will figure this out. It is just hard right now.


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