In order to help our family be nice we have a marble jar. If we are good we get marbles if we are bad we loose them. If at the end of the week we have reached the top of the jar we get to have a family activity. This one was one of my favorites. I went to the dollar store and bought a bunch of glow sticks and glow games. We waited for dark turned off the lights and had a blast. Who can't have fun with glow sticks?
"29 And when Ammon did meet them he was exceedingly sorrowful, for behold they were naked, and their skins were worn exceedingly because of being bound with strong cords. And they also had suffered hunger, thirst, and all kinds of afflictions; nevertheless they were patient in all their sufferings."
There are a lot of things going on in my family. Everyone is having issues and I feel that it stems from me and my depression.
Yesterday I went to therapy and my therapist on a side note said, "Everyone likes to be in control of their body and when we feel out of control we look for something that we can control." Oh that was inspiring to me. It made me realize why I want the house perfect, why I get so frustrated with my kids when they don't perform, why I like to be in control of everything. It is because I am not in control of my body. I can't control the frustration, the emotions, the anger so I look for something else to control to make up for it. Those moments when I do feel in control of my body I can handle what my kids dish out. The house doesn't bother me and I have more patience and energy to clean it. I am patient with my kids and my husband and things run so much smoother. The kids don't feel anxiety or frustration because of my mood and therefore they don't have as many issues. I am able to be consistent and get into routines that allow our family to function happily. It is not perfect but it is so much better then where I am right now. I don't know what to do with this information yet but it is revealing to have discovered.
As Derek and I talked about what to do and how to help our family
I felt so overwhelmed. How were we going to help our family during these difficult mood swings? What is the best plan of action? Derek suggested that we pray about it (what a great man!)
Last night as I prayed for guidance on this subject. I felt that I needed to read my scriptures this morning and I would receive my answer. I feel that this is my answer. To be "patient in all my suffering."
Not the answer I wanted, but the answer I think I knew. I feel that I really need to get the right medication. I feel that this time I am going to have to go through a lot of medications in order to find the right one for me. And this is not something that just takes a few days and then you know. This takes weeks to discover.
But if I don't go through this then I can't empathize with others and I won't be able to help them. I feel that this trial I am going through is so that I can eventually help others having the same trial. This empowers me but also makes me worry about what I will have to endure to get to that point.
Yesterday I went to therapy and my therapist on a side note said, "Everyone likes to be in control of their body and when we feel out of control we look for something that we can control." Oh that was inspiring to me. It made me realize why I want the house perfect, why I get so frustrated with my kids when they don't perform, why I like to be in control of everything. It is because I am not in control of my body. I can't control the frustration, the emotions, the anger so I look for something else to control to make up for it. Those moments when I do feel in control of my body I can handle what my kids dish out. The house doesn't bother me and I have more patience and energy to clean it. I am patient with my kids and my husband and things run so much smoother. The kids don't feel anxiety or frustration because of my mood and therefore they don't have as many issues. I am able to be consistent and get into routines that allow our family to function happily. It is not perfect but it is so much better then where I am right now. I don't know what to do with this information yet but it is revealing to have discovered.
As Derek and I talked about what to do and how to help our family
I felt so overwhelmed. How were we going to help our family during these difficult mood swings? What is the best plan of action? Derek suggested that we pray about it (what a great man!)
Last night as I prayed for guidance on this subject. I felt that I needed to read my scriptures this morning and I would receive my answer. I feel that this is my answer. To be "patient in all my suffering."
Not the answer I wanted, but the answer I think I knew. I feel that I really need to get the right medication. I feel that this time I am going to have to go through a lot of medications in order to find the right one for me. And this is not something that just takes a few days and then you know. This takes weeks to discover.
But if I don't go through this then I can't empathize with others and I won't be able to help them. I feel that this trial I am going through is so that I can eventually help others having the same trial. This empowers me but also makes me worry about what I will have to endure to get to that point.
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