M. Russell Ballard, The Sacred Responsibilities of Parenthood
It can be equally destructive when parents are too permissive and overindulge their children, allowing them to do as they please. Parents need to set limits in accordance with the importance of the matter involved and the child’s disposition and maturity. Don’t make mountains out of molehills, and don’t produce what to a child seems an interminably long list of rules. Help children understand the reasons for rules, and always follow through with appropriate discipline when rules are broken. It is important as well to praise appropriate behavior. It will challenge all of your creativity and patience to maintain this balance, but the rewards will be great. Children who understand their boundaries through the consistent application of important rules are more likely to do well at school, to be more self-controlled, and to be more willing to abide by the laws of the land.
This so describes this morning. Coming out of the house and helping Samantha hobble down the stairs (she is again in crutches) I see Elizabeth slap her brother's face and John Derek retaliate with as many mean words as are in a 7 year old's vocabulary. I strongly encouraged both to get in the car. John Derek lost the opportunity to play with friends and Elizabeth was to loose her phone.
After dropping John Derek off for school Elizabeth talked to me about why she can't go to a school dance. (We set the age at 14.) When I pulled up to drop her off I asked for the phone and she came up with everything she could think of to get me to let her keep her phone. She pulled at my heart strings but after saying a prayer I felt strengthened and was calmly able to ask for the phone. After realizing that there were cars waiting for her to get out so I could move and realizing that I would take the phone for a week if she did not give it to me she threw the phone at me, said she hated me, and slammed the door.
"It will challenge all of your creativity and patience to maintain this balance" is a true statement. As I child I thought being a parent would be so easy. I never imagined that it would be hard to stick to my guns and hoping that what I am doing is right. I am grateful that I have a Heavenly Father who loves and cares for me and gives me the strength I need and probably roles His eyes when I do something I shouldn't. Being a parent has helped me get to know my Father in Heaven better than I ever thought possible.
Parents, let’s listen and know what is important in the lives of our children. If we fail to listen, if we don’t try to understand their point of view, how can we expect them to come to us for guidance in making important decisions?
Regardless of the size or makeup of the family council, what really matters are loving motivation, an atmosphere that encourages free and open discussion, and a willingness to listen to the honest input of all council members—as well as to the whisperings of the Holy Spirit.
If any of you are struggling with contention in your homes, you can change this. Talk to your family. Ask for their help. Tell them you don’t want a contentious spirit in the home anymore and discuss what each family member can do to prevent it.
In conclusion, to parents everywhere, my counsel is simple: Get a copy of “The Family: A Proclamation to the World.” Read it and strive to align your marriage and your family to its inspired, revealed direction from the Lord. Then, be the very best and act the very best you can. God will give you strength beyond your own as you strive daily to fulfill the most sacred mortal responsibility He gives to His children. Listen to the voice of the Spirit and the counsel of the living prophets. Be of good cheer. God did not place you on earth to fail, and your efforts as parents will not be counted as failure unless you give up. (Italics Added)
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