Skip to main content

Samantha Testimony/Depression-Perfection

Samantha has been struggling lately with finding her testimony.  She believes in God like she believed in Santa.  Finding out about Santa set her for a whirl and now she is doubting if God really does exist.

On that same note I am amazed at her stamina and her desire to find the truth.  She really is putting a lot of thought and energy into finding out.  I am confident that she will discover Him and her testimony soon.  What a great age to decide if she believes in God.  She will decide when her parents are the most influential and before her friends gain their own opinions to sway her.  I am greatly thankful for this.

A few weeks ago Samantha had lost a small stuffed animal.  She looked for it but could not find it.  She prayed and still no animal.  She was having a rough day one day and felt that God must not be real and if He is He does not love her because He had not helped her find this animal.  I prayed for strength and that evening Derek and I lifted the mattress off her bed and there was the animal.  She was delighted.

Friday night we stopped and bought a book that she really wanted to read.  By Saturday afternoon the book was lost.  She again prayed but nothing happened.  She looked, I looked, I prayed and then had a thought, "Samantha you are asking Heavenly Father for this book, what can you do show Him that you really want it?  What if you read your scriptures?  Sometimes that is when He talks to us."

She did not like this idea and sulked off.  The next day after school she again became discouraged and went upstairs and began reading her scriptures.  After a while she came down and I offered to help her look in the playroom as we cleaned it.  Sure enough she found the book hiding under other books and toys.  I told her, "See if Heavenly Father had answered your prayer right away you never would have read your scriptures.  But because He didn't answer it right away you read your scriptures like He wanted.  He always has a plan for how He answers our prayers and it is even better than our plan."


I was so grateful for this learning experience and how Heavenly Father is helping her learn how He works so that as she grows she will know from past experience how to trust and have faith in Him.
"43  The spirit and the body shall be reunited again in its perfect form; both limb and joint shall be restored to its proper frame, even as we now are at this time; and we shall be brought to stand before God, knowing even as we know now, and have a bright recollection of all our guilt.

44  Now, this restoration shall come to all, both old and young, both bond and free, both male and female, both the wicked and the righteous; and even there shall not so much as a hair of their heads be lost; but every thing shall be restored to its perfect frame, as it is now, or in the body, and shall be brought and be arraigned before the bar of Christ the Son, and God the Father, and the Holy Spirit, which is one Eternal God, to be judged according to their works, whether they be good or whether they be evil."
I look forward to this time. When my body will be made whole, in its perfect form. When the hormones that cause my depression will be perfect and I will no longer have to fight the depression fight.

Depression has helped me have more sympathy and kindness for others. I have also learned that there are two parts to me. There is my physical and my spiritual parts. When I don't feel "myself" I know it is my physical self that feels this way. I can't get away from it but I can desperate it knowing that it will not last forever. I can work with it and take more times outs, exercise more, read scriptures more, keep my mouth shut, sleep more, attend the temple, and wait for the depression to end. I realize that I am not my symptoms of depression. That I have my own voice and my own soul.

I still make mistakes, I still succumb sometimes, but I am freer than I was last year and my family is in a better place than it was a year ago.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

WE ARE EXPECTING BABY #5

Yes, you read it correctly. The Thornton Family is expecting a new baby in Dec. 2012. We are very excited. Today we made the announcement to our 4 children and I am sure that each of you heard their screams of excitement. Maddison immediately told us that it was going to be a boy but then after a few minutes decided that we need one boy and one girl. John Derek would like the baby to be a boy so that he can have a brother. Samantha would like the baby to sleep in her room. Elizabeth would like the baby to have brown hair so that more kids in the family would look like her. Then the conversation turned to names. Here are some of their favorites: Elizabeth wants: Sarah, Eva, Evelyn, or Eve, and if it is a boy Phineas or Ferb Samantha wants: Sam or Ammon John Derek wants: Johnny Maddison wants: Cinderella and Johnny So here we go. Taking on a new adventure of 5 children with faith that we are following our Father in Heaven's desires for our family. In this last conference Pres. P...

Lessons from Friends/Faith

I had a fun visit with some of our friends yesterday.  We talked a lot and I learned a lot.  At one point she said that she has to rely on the Savior and the Atonement to make up for the love that she cannot give her children.  She loves them but her weaknesses do not always show that and she prays that they will feel loved through the Atonement.  I loved that idea.  In my life right now I am functioning good but not perfect.  I need the Atonement to make up for what I cannot give my children right now.  She also talked about how important siblings are.  That in China one of the problems with only having one child is that there are no aunts, uncles, or cousins.  The family network is gone.  How as parents we may not be able to give our children all the love that we would like but they are still getting loved from their siblings.  That as children we fought with our siblings but now as adults we are closest to our siblings. ...

Anniversary Day 3/Weaknesses can Become Strengths

We slept in again, oh so nice.  We didn't leave the hotel until 11:00.  We went to a local pancake place and had a scruptious breakfast.  We then went in search of apple orchards as this area is known as Apple Country.  We ended up at a place called Grandad's Apples. I was in 7th heaven.  We bought a full bushel of apples and then more for making apple sauce.  I loved it. We then went to down town Ashville and bought chocolates at the Chocolate Feddish.  Mmmmm . . . Then we headed home.  It was a wonderful time to be together with my best friend.  I am so grateful to my loving Heavenly Father for helping us have such an enjoyable anniversary.  We felt truly loved and blessed by Him. We enjoyed our 15th Anniversary and are looking forward to an eternity more. . . Book of Mormon, Ether 12:27 "27  And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weak...