This past weekend dawned with great hope and great ambition. Derek and I have noticed in our family a feeling of negativity and rudeness. It has taken over our children and even a part of us. We decided to have a "restart" weekend. I stared by going to the Temple Friday morning and received ideas of how to make this weekend great.
We booked a room in a local hotel and picked the kids up early from school for a "surprise." It was amazing to see how Satan was trying so hard to discourage us. It started when we got the kids from school and they complained about what they would be missing. (Doesn't it go without saying that everyone wants to get out of school?) Derek and I were giddy with excitement but the kids just refused to enjoy the moment and were so frustrated that we would not tell them where we were going.
When we finally pulled up at the hotel a heavy gloom came upon everyone. But walking into the hotel with a huge bowl of suckers quickly started to bring smiles. We all took a look at the pool and saw fountains shooting into the pool and water bubbling up in the splash area. Awe started to appear.
We went to our room which was fabulous (even had a walk in closet, Michael's bed fit just right! Amazing!) We quickly changed into bathing suits and ran down to the pool.
This is where the difficulty for me began. I love doing laps but don't enjoy just "playing" in the pool. I don't like to be cold and hate being splashed in the face. I like things in control and cringe every time any of my children run and jump in the pool. Each time a cracked head flashes before my eyes. But Derek kept telling us over and over again that we needed to think of others not just ourselves. So I tried. Finally Derek could see my frustrations and came over and listened to me. That relieved so much stress and I was able to relax a little more and try to enjoy my children.
I taught JD how to really splash people (all my secrets), Elizabeth and I raced back and forth across the pool. Michael and I would splash around Samantha, who would change us into some sort of vehicle, and then we would walk around in the water pretending to be a firetruck, airplane, boat, etc. Maddie would create concoctions for me to tast and would turn me into a panda and a human over and over again.
After a long time I got hit quare in the face with a toy and started crying. I felt like a little kid on the playground wanting mommy to inverviene and get me out of this situation. I had done all I could, my emotional energy was spent. I no longer had the strength to continue this charade.
The evening was spent watching UNC basketball, eating pizza, fighting over who go to sleep where, and Derek sleeping on the couch to appease the children. Things were not going the way I wanted or even we wanted. Derek was superman with the patience of Job. He really kept it together.
Morning brough breakfast and family council. We talked about how we like to go on family vacations, how we like doing the marble jar so that we can have weekly family activities. But again things errupted and had to end.
Derek took the older kids to a movie and Michael and I went to the Flea Martket in the hopes that he would fall asleep in the stroller. After no sleep I finally put him in the car and drove home to get his crib (the hotel had been out of cribs.) He slept for about an hour and then woke up just as I picked the other's up from the movie. Again grumpies were there. They were full of popcorn and not ready for dinner so we went shoping for clothes. Derek was a prince and kept the littleones happy while I shoped with the girls. Elizabeth was delightful but Samantha really didn't really care until she saw a giant Beanie Boo and we wouldn't buy it for her. This brought more histerics and tantrums.
Time for dinner. The restraunt we wanted was an hour wait. Derek finally broke down and we ended up at a Mexian restraunt but were not impressed. Derek discovered that he doesn't like dissapointment and that is what brings him down. After playing in the pool I finally could not take the cold and went upstairs to shower. Derek was the best and kept the kids entertained despite being tired. We planned on UNC basketball and games but ended up turning the TV off, lectures, and bed. But Derek and I did get to sleep together.
Sunday we were all tired and didn't want to leave. Finally the troops pulled themselves together and we got packed and down to breakfast and then home.
Derek left for meetings as soon as we got home. Samantha and Elizabeth ended up in a fight but I was blessed with an incredable amout of patience to help them. I shared the song Blessings by Laura Story, with Elizabeth and she was moved to tears.
Blessings
We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things
'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise
We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we have faith to believe
'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You're near
And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise
When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home
It's not our home
'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You're near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the achings of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise.
As I tried to "fix Elizabeth's problem" Heavenly Father kindly reminded me that she was His daughter before she was mine. That He has a plan for her and that I do not need to worry and do not need to "fix it."
During Sacrament meeting we sang Be Still My Soul. At the line:
Be still, my soul; thy God doth undertake
To guide the future as He has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence, let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
I was reminded that last year I didn't want Elizabeth to go to the school she was at but that He had her in His palm and had her where He thought she should be. That after that insight I was able to see how that school was so good for Elizabeth and had allowed her a lot of opportunities. And just as He helped her then He will help her now.
Things still are not perfect. We still have a long way to go. As Derek said, "We are not the 'perfect' family." But I feel confidence in my Heavenly Father, that He will help and is helping our family.
My sister in law reminded me of the video Bread of Life and how sometimes we have to pray just to get through the day, line upon line, and that is what I will try to do. "Maybe the greater blessing for us is to walk through it with Him." -Elder Ballard
We booked a room in a local hotel and picked the kids up early from school for a "surprise." It was amazing to see how Satan was trying so hard to discourage us. It started when we got the kids from school and they complained about what they would be missing. (Doesn't it go without saying that everyone wants to get out of school?) Derek and I were giddy with excitement but the kids just refused to enjoy the moment and were so frustrated that we would not tell them where we were going.
When we finally pulled up at the hotel a heavy gloom came upon everyone. But walking into the hotel with a huge bowl of suckers quickly started to bring smiles. We all took a look at the pool and saw fountains shooting into the pool and water bubbling up in the splash area. Awe started to appear.
We went to our room which was fabulous (even had a walk in closet, Michael's bed fit just right! Amazing!) We quickly changed into bathing suits and ran down to the pool.
This is where the difficulty for me began. I love doing laps but don't enjoy just "playing" in the pool. I don't like to be cold and hate being splashed in the face. I like things in control and cringe every time any of my children run and jump in the pool. Each time a cracked head flashes before my eyes. But Derek kept telling us over and over again that we needed to think of others not just ourselves. So I tried. Finally Derek could see my frustrations and came over and listened to me. That relieved so much stress and I was able to relax a little more and try to enjoy my children.
I taught JD how to really splash people (all my secrets), Elizabeth and I raced back and forth across the pool. Michael and I would splash around Samantha, who would change us into some sort of vehicle, and then we would walk around in the water pretending to be a firetruck, airplane, boat, etc. Maddie would create concoctions for me to tast and would turn me into a panda and a human over and over again.
After a long time I got hit quare in the face with a toy and started crying. I felt like a little kid on the playground wanting mommy to inverviene and get me out of this situation. I had done all I could, my emotional energy was spent. I no longer had the strength to continue this charade.
The evening was spent watching UNC basketball, eating pizza, fighting over who go to sleep where, and Derek sleeping on the couch to appease the children. Things were not going the way I wanted or even we wanted. Derek was superman with the patience of Job. He really kept it together.
Morning brough breakfast and family council. We talked about how we like to go on family vacations, how we like doing the marble jar so that we can have weekly family activities. But again things errupted and had to end.
Derek took the older kids to a movie and Michael and I went to the Flea Martket in the hopes that he would fall asleep in the stroller. After no sleep I finally put him in the car and drove home to get his crib (the hotel had been out of cribs.) He slept for about an hour and then woke up just as I picked the other's up from the movie. Again grumpies were there. They were full of popcorn and not ready for dinner so we went shoping for clothes. Derek was a prince and kept the littleones happy while I shoped with the girls. Elizabeth was delightful but Samantha really didn't really care until she saw a giant Beanie Boo and we wouldn't buy it for her. This brought more histerics and tantrums.
Time for dinner. The restraunt we wanted was an hour wait. Derek finally broke down and we ended up at a Mexian restraunt but were not impressed. Derek discovered that he doesn't like dissapointment and that is what brings him down. After playing in the pool I finally could not take the cold and went upstairs to shower. Derek was the best and kept the kids entertained despite being tired. We planned on UNC basketball and games but ended up turning the TV off, lectures, and bed. But Derek and I did get to sleep together.
Sunday we were all tired and didn't want to leave. Finally the troops pulled themselves together and we got packed and down to breakfast and then home.
Derek left for meetings as soon as we got home. Samantha and Elizabeth ended up in a fight but I was blessed with an incredable amout of patience to help them. I shared the song Blessings by Laura Story, with Elizabeth and she was moved to tears.
Blessings
We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things
'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise
We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we have faith to believe
'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You're near
And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise
When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home
It's not our home
'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You're near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the achings of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise.
As I tried to "fix Elizabeth's problem" Heavenly Father kindly reminded me that she was His daughter before she was mine. That He has a plan for her and that I do not need to worry and do not need to "fix it."
During Sacrament meeting we sang Be Still My Soul. At the line:
Be still, my soul; thy God doth undertake
To guide the future as He has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence, let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
I was reminded that last year I didn't want Elizabeth to go to the school she was at but that He had her in His palm and had her where He thought she should be. That after that insight I was able to see how that school was so good for Elizabeth and had allowed her a lot of opportunities. And just as He helped her then He will help her now.
Things still are not perfect. We still have a long way to go. As Derek said, "We are not the 'perfect' family." But I feel confidence in my Heavenly Father, that He will help and is helping our family.
My sister in law reminded me of the video Bread of Life and how sometimes we have to pray just to get through the day, line upon line, and that is what I will try to do. "Maybe the greater blessing for us is to walk through it with Him." -Elder Ballard
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