My Standard/Testimony

Yesterday was hard.  I have been riding an emotional roller coaster the past little while and yesterday it was very apparent.

There is a movie that my children have wanted to watch for a long time.  It is one of those that I don't feel comfortable seeing or having my children see but most people find it wonderful and enjoyable.  It has one part that I don't like and because of it I have not allowed my children to watch this show, much to their dismay.

Yesterday the show ended up at my home, I knew that in the near future we were going to have to watch the show because of other circumstances and I felt that it was inevitable.  Never the less I struggled to know if it was the right thing to do.  Then I remembered that I have ClearPlay and that it will delete anything inappropriate so I allowed my children to watch the show.  I disappeared upstairs so that I wouldn't have to deal with it.

But of course I came down right at that scene and ClearPlay wasn't taking it out so I had to come over and forward the movie.  This brought criticism from my children and others.  I felt I had to justify over and over again what was wrong and why I didn't like it.  For the rest of the day my heart was in turmoil, did I do the right thing, am I being too picky, is the scene really not as bad as I think it is?  Lots of questions.

Wit the state of my emotions I couldn't let this go and I kept analyzing it over and over again.  Finally Derek, who had seen me going through this, took me in his arms and told me that if this movie obviously disturbed my spirit so much then it was not a movie we should watch in our home.  This brought me comfort.  And then this morning I was praying about this and had the words of my patriarchal blessing go through my mind, "never go to movies, or plays that would grieve the Spirit."  This reminded me that the Spirit should be my deciding guideline.  That if I don't feel comfortable then I shouldn't watch it and I should be okay with that.

I am grateful to a Heavenly Father who loves me and supports me and reminds me that I am loved.

Ether 6:5-9

Ether 6:9 -8 

"5  And it came to pass that the Lord God caused that there should be a furious wind blow upon the face of the waters, towards the promised land; and thus they were tossed upon the waves of the sea before the wind.

6  And it came to pass that they were many times buried in the depths of the sea, because of the mountain waves which broke upon them, and also the great and terrible tempests which were caused by the fierceness of the wind.

7  And it came to pass that when they were buried in the deep there was no water that could hurt them, their vessels being tight like unto a dish, and also they were tight like unto the ark of Noah; therefore when they were encompassed about by many waters they did cry unto the Lord, and he did bring them forth again upon the top of the waters.

8  And it came to pass that the wind did never cease to blow towards the promised land while they were upon the waters; and thus they were driven forth before the wind.

9  And they did sing praises unto the Lord; yea, the brother of Jared did sing praises unto the Lord, and he did thank and praise the Lord all the day long; and when the night came, they did not cease to praise the Lord."

Can this be compared to us? I think that the vessels are like our testimony. As we read the scriptures, pray, and serve the Lord we have a protection around us. It doesn't prevent us from having trials, the winds of the world still blow, we are sometimes buried in the depths of our trials and weaknesses. We are still hurt from being thrown around and we are still scared and doubt if our testimony or our vessel is strong enough. But as we stand firm the Lord brings us back on top. We will see the sunlight again and arrive in the Lord's promised land.

Through these trials the Lord keeps us continually moving forward.

As we thank or Father in Heaven we will be given the peace that we need.