The last couple of days have been difficult. It is my time to be hormonal but so frustrating. On top of my mental and emotional problems Samantha is having a hard time too. She repeatedly has breakdowns and always looks forlorn. We had an especially bad one a couple of weeks ago. After talking to the Therapist she recommended that we get a Psychiatrist to evaluate her and maybe give her medication. I don't love the idea of putting her on medication but I don't know what else to do.
As her mother I feel very inadequate. I think that she needs a mother who loves to snuggle and loves to pay attention to every ache and pain that she reports, but that is not the mother she has. This morning as I was pondering over this I was reminded that she was sent to me. That there must be something I can give her that a cuddly mother could not give her. I don't know what that is but I hope I can find it.
Yesterday I was able to go to the temple. It was so nice to be there and to feel the Spirit of the Lord. As I sat in the Celestial Room I basked in the peace that was there. I was the only one in the room and I truly enjoyed the silence and peace. I am grateful to have a temple close to me. The temple put me in a great mood and carried over into the afternoon.
I had told the kids that if they did x, y, and z I would take them to Chick-fil-A. Well they did it and we went. They really enjoyed it.
I want to thank my mom for her love and support. The last time she was here to visit me she told me that I could always call her no matter what. That has really ment a lot to me especially on days like yesterday. I appreciate that she drops everything to talk to me and just to listen to my frustrations and my emotional baggage. How blessed I am to have such a mother.
I have been pondering what I should study. Today I read an article that helped me realize what it is I really want to learn. The article is entitled: The Last Sacrament Cup. I realized that I want to have a stronger testimony of the Sacrament and the Atonement. I want to feel more when I partake of the Sacrament each Sunday and I want to rely more on the Atonement and what it can do for me.
As her mother I feel very inadequate. I think that she needs a mother who loves to snuggle and loves to pay attention to every ache and pain that she reports, but that is not the mother she has. This morning as I was pondering over this I was reminded that she was sent to me. That there must be something I can give her that a cuddly mother could not give her. I don't know what that is but I hope I can find it.
Yesterday I was able to go to the temple. It was so nice to be there and to feel the Spirit of the Lord. As I sat in the Celestial Room I basked in the peace that was there. I was the only one in the room and I truly enjoyed the silence and peace. I am grateful to have a temple close to me. The temple put me in a great mood and carried over into the afternoon.
I had told the kids that if they did x, y, and z I would take them to Chick-fil-A. Well they did it and we went. They really enjoyed it.
I want to thank my mom for her love and support. The last time she was here to visit me she told me that I could always call her no matter what. That has really ment a lot to me especially on days like yesterday. I appreciate that she drops everything to talk to me and just to listen to my frustrations and my emotional baggage. How blessed I am to have such a mother.
I have been pondering what I should study. Today I read an article that helped me realize what it is I really want to learn. The article is entitled: The Last Sacrament Cup. I realized that I want to have a stronger testimony of the Sacrament and the Atonement. I want to feel more when I partake of the Sacrament each Sunday and I want to rely more on the Atonement and what it can do for me.
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