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Depression

These past few days have been difficult emotionally.  Not nearly as bad as they could be but still very annoying.  I am tired and moody.  I have been trying to exercise daily and to keep busy but the week is just dragging on and I am grumpy.  One of the hardest things for me during this time is not being able to hear the promptings of the Holy Ghost.  It makes me anxious and I feel lost, that I don't know what to do, that I don't know what is important or where to step.  I know that this will soon pass but it is hard to deal with it sometimes.  I wish I could just curl up in bed and stay there until I felt better but I know this is not possible and it probably isn't the healthiest thing either.

My friend shared this video with me about Depression.  I really liked how there were so many truths portrayed, so many examples of how I feel as well as good solutions and the truth that this can be overcome, not gone but controlled.  It is entitled: I had a black dog, his name was depression.


Like a Broken Vessel

"In that spirit I wish to speak to those who suffer from some form of mental illness or emotional disorder, whether those afflictions be slight or severe, of brief duration or persistent over a lifetime. We sense the complexity of such matters when we hear professionals speak of neuroses and psychoses, of genetic predispositions and chromosome defects, of bipolarity, paranoia, and schizophrenia. However bewildering this all may be, these afflictions are some of the realities of mortal life, and there should be no more shame in acknowledging them than in acknowledging a battle with high blood pressure or the sudden appearance of a malignant tumor."
This whole talk is amazing and so comforting.  I love that we should not be ashamed in acknowledging these mental and emotional battles that we are fighting. We are just sick, this is not a poor mind set. I know that PMDD has made me so much more sympathetic to others emotional state than I ever was before.

In Church on Sunday I shared with the other women my battle with PMDD.  I was nervous to share but knew that I should not be ashamed and that by sharing I would be helping others realize that they are not alone.  Afterwards I heard from 2 different women who have the same sickness.  I am amazed at how many people it reaches.

I am also grateful to a wonderful woman who has shared her own battle with depression.  She is one of those amazing women who I feel never makes a mistake and does everything right.  Knowing she has depression made me feel that I am okay.  That I can control this, I can live with it, and I don't need to be afraid of it or ashamed of it.  Her openness and honesty has been such a blessing to me and I strive to follow her example.

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